Clear Boundaries Seem Rude Only to People Who Were Counting on Their Lack

Imagine you’re in a ballroom, and everyone is gracefully sliding on the floor in valse steps, following the rhythm of a collective heartbeat. The champagne flows, rivers and rivers of chocolate are waiting for you to stick your strawberry in it and take a zesty bite.

The moment you say no, it reverberates through the walls, making the music stop. You and your partner stop dancing. And then everyone waltzing around you let their gaze glide over you like you’re two sick birds who have to be pushed to the side, for the ball to continue.

“She said no.” “yes, I heard.”. “What’s gotten into her?”

In life, it’s more or less the same thing. You create a boundary, and people have to stop and assess the situation.

You say no, you don’t explain, and the room shifts.

Shortly after, the social punishment comes crawling in, gluing its tentacles to your cold skin, on a winter day.

And besides the fact that you were cold already, now you have to feel those slimy things on your skin and in your brain.

Of course, people would rather just keep valsing, but it’s your character at stake. To hell with the world and what is expected of you.

One day, you decide you want to see who stays.

So you start cutting rotten bushes around you, that have been just hanging there for nothing. They weren’t helping you, feeding you, and you couldn’t help them either. You just existed in the same space.

The day you realize you have the shears in your hands, it’s the day you win.

You are taking control of your life, of what’s in it, and it feels terrific.

Terrific, I find it to be a word that, because of the consonants and that double R (makes me think of pirates), it feels angry, and at the same time full of ego.

Imagine a posh someone saying: — Oh this day is just terrific. I have postponed all my responsibilities, let’s go eat somewhere fabulous (in British accent, always, lol).

And I think it captures the essence precisely of what I was saying, because it is coming from the ego as well. This need of cleaning up and keep just the good ones comes from within, yes, from our inability to fake it anymore, because we get closer to our true self.

But when it’s all clean, and nothing but fresh meadows around you, birds chirping, and the sun shining proudly, you sit and think: oh, this is just terrific. I am the shit.

Then there’s the ego.

The question is, does that ego come from our pride in how far we’ve come, boasting our self-development into the ether like ours is far better now than all the others? Is it a humblebrag?

Or does it come from the true alignment with ourselves, when our soul lies on a bench, looking into the world and saying quietly: this is terrific.

In which case, I believe the word should be different. This feels great, would encompass more of the essence of it.

That’s what I think, anyway. I love both words, but terrific just says it better for me.

Terrific or great, say it how you feel it.

What matters is the accomplishment you’re feeling when boundaries have been set, new rules have been laid out, and people who were counting on their lack are gone.