See, I have very few friends. I can count them on one hand. But this trip was something else.
We were a group of 23, as a bunch of colleagues from my work were organizing it, and there were people I didn’t know. Of course, we would go like this because, you know, it’s easier to have fun.
People create the vibe, and in big lines, we all knew each other at a surface level. Plus, it’s easier to book a table at a club at night than if you were 4 people. And that’s the main reason we wanted to come here. To lighten up, release bad energy and dance all night.
I couldn’t say no because I missed this so much. The freedom your body exudes when you’re dancing like no one’s watching is eliberating.
And the next day, although you feel tired — if you don’t get drunk drunk — then it’s a good type of tired. You know you had a great time, and that hits different.
But I did get drunk drunk, twice already, and it wasn’t the good type of tired. I’m diverting.
When I told Jacob about a guy, Paul, who would come on this vacation too (I was reading the list of people Jane, my colleague, sent me on WhatsApp), he asked Paul who? Then I said his last name, McGuire and he acknowledged and shrug his shoulder like he doesn’t know him, but I could tell a shift in his energy.
And from that moment on, he started giving me reasons, daily, to postpone this trip.
In case you’re wondering, Jacob and I, accidentally or not, knew more or less the same people. Call it serendipity or whatever you like, but I don’t believe in coincidences.
I never did.
Maybe that’s why my arousal grew more and more for him.
There was a missing piece I didn’t know where it belonged. And worse..I didn’t know what role Jacob would play in my life because I had an instinctual feeling that he wasn’t the love of my life.
Not even close.
He was cold at days, and soft sometimes. He would ration my love dosage so that I would keep close waiting for it to come again. I could read all these signs, but went blindly deeper into the relationship anyway.
Our bad attitude was continued in this trip, and people started noticing that we contradicted each other a lot, but mostly the trouble started with Jacob. I would say, ‘I feel like sushi today’, and he would say, ‘how can you feel like sushi when we have two great restaurants booked today with incredible real food?’ And I went, ‘what do you mean? Sushi is incredible real food, and I feel like eating it.’ ‘Well, you should go eat sushi then.’
And something horrible along these lines, every day.
It was exhausting until now, and probably the reason I got so drunk twice.
And that’s why Pearlie, a friend of a friend of a friend, I still don’t know who she is, made that comment. (read Part 1 here).
You’re probably wondering again why I’m not more worried about Jacob.
Well, that’s because the night he made that move on me, he took a Molly. And it’s my suspicion, he didn’t stop there. We was on and off all night, saying he’s going to the bathroom, he’s going with a bunch of guys (Paul was one of them, by the way) from our group to check out a club nearby, and things like that. The girls and I were perfect in the club we were in, and didn’t want to wander about.
We were dancing, that was the whole point.
At that point, I detached and suddenly considered that I’m single.
Oupsie, sorry not sorry.
I knew this was it, and it’s clear as daylight that Jacob lost his interest in me, and I lost it in him.
Jane turned to me all of a sudden and said, ‘Do you see that group of guys over there near the bar? Let’s go get some light shots, just to see what happens.’
And that’s the cue I needed.
As we approached the bar, there was this old school song remixed ‘Whatever you like’ from T.I. that I absolutely love. They remixed it with something I wasn’t familiar with, but it sounded phenomenal.
That was another cue I needed to let my body flow in the rhythm of the music. We turned our backs at the bar, skimming the place, more precisely the group of guys we were eyeing.
I had this constant thought in the back of my mind that what I’m doing is wrong, but then all of my indifference started from Jacob’s behaviour. So I jumped out of it, danced, and I kept trying to jump out of it the whole night.
Two of the guys came to get some shots too, and that was our cue to ask for shots and give a few looks in their direction.
They picked it up and offered to pay for them.
We said it’s not necessary, we already did, then they offered to pay for the next round.
So that’s how the rest of the night went. Flirting and dancing near the bar for at least 2 hours, with two handsome guys who were not disgusting and did not touch us not one time. I liked that.
Of course, I kept an eye and was careful to keep the distance as well, since technically I wasn’t single, Jacob was on Molly, and I didn’t want to start a scandal. Ok, maybe I did. A little bit.
But there was no trace of Jacob.
Two guys have returned, but Jacob, Paul and Moe, were still out there, somewhere. I asked, and they said they were in some club down the street having a ball.
Imagine my reaction. I faked it, of course, and I decided it was time to go to the hotel, at about 4:30 with Jane. The rest stayed until 7 AM. I found out the day after at brunch.
I was cold, and outside was a hot summer night. And that usually happens when I’m upset.
I told Jane all about it, and she sighed and said she noticed that’s why she asked if I’d go to the bar. She also noticed Jacob talking to a bunch of girls near the bathroom, flirting, better said. I was disappointed, with a side of indifference. There were too many balloons thrown in my head lately.
I also asked Jane if I could sleep in her room, because I really did not want to face Jacob, in case he decided to show his face there.
On my phone, no messages. No missed calls. No WhatsApps, no DMs.
I fell asleep after 3 cups of still water, like a baby, until 12:23 PM.
Part 3 coming soon.
